![]() He was pissed that I’d put off other forms of treatment that were definitely destined to just prolong my suffering by a few terrible months, and that was if I got lucky. When Nicolae came home with another stack of papers, I knew it was time. It was dangerous, and he was fixated on half-baked therapies that carried no risks. ![]() But I was more afraid that Nicolae would just flat-out refuse. ![]() I couldn’t help that I was afraid, and I liked to think I’d taken the news of my inevitable demise in stride, all things considered. ![]() I’d known my body would fail on me eventually, and I’d figured it wouldn’t be pretty, but if I allowed Nicolae to bite me and it failed, it meant a rapid descent into madness followed by certain death. I wasn’t sure if I was scared he’d say no, or scared he’d get up hope only for the plan to be called off because it turned out the odds of success were just as bleak.ĭying was a pretty open-ended thing. There was no particular reason, the right time just never seemed to come up. I wasn’t sure why I’d put it off for so long. ![]() It took me a few weeks to work up the courage to tell Nicolae about Kel’s theory. ![]()
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